Tired of Back Pain

I am so tired of all of my back problems. I know a lot has been blogged about. I'm sick of hurting. I have had 3 back surgeries and finally got a new neurosurgeon. I've been waiting on trying to get an appointment with mine, but she couldn't get me in until March.

Update: I fell at 3:40 this morning. I hurt the leg I can feel and jarred my back even more. I've been in constant tears since then. I guess it's a good thing my appointment is with the neurosurgeon today. Hopefully I can get the surgery where the nerve at L5-S1 will be relieved so I can feel my left leg. I hate this and I am tired of crying from the pain and numbness and all the almost falls and the actual falls. I need thoughts, prayers, love and light. The drive is 4hrs round trip. I just hope I can manage to drive it.

November 19,2021

I have forgotten how it felt to be stared at or having an evil look thrown my way. Teach your kids and yourselves not to stare when someone has a walker or walks with a gimp. I have 2 bulging discs and a pinched nerve and I can't walk right bc my left leg is numb. I wanted to cry several times just going in the grocery store bc of the looks I was getting. I got nerve damage back in August of 2010 where I ended up having my first back surgery. 

Now over 11 yrs later I have to have a 4th one to relieve the nerve that's being pinched. I can't find a neurosurgeon and I need one asap. I can deal with the pain but I can't deal with the looks I have been receiving. I need prayers, love, and light. It's a struggle for me to get from point A to point B. I try to get myself mentally prepared knowing that any given moment my right leg can go numb and I be wheelchair bound again. I am almost at a breakdown mentally.

It pains me to see how far I had come and then it is all failing. I had to endure 10 months of physical therapy to relearn to walk. I had to relearn to drive. I got a wonderful job, that I absolutely love, then bam, pain, er trip, CT scan, another pinched nerve, 2 bulging discs, can't work. Can't get unemployment. Can't get the doctor to fill out my FMLA paperwork on time. I can't find a neurosurgeon that can get me seen and fixed up asap. Why me? What did I do to be broken the way that I am. Had funds for getting married at the beginning of December and now no funds, bc I can't work and make money. I just don't know how much more I can take.

Beautiful

I can literally say that I love my job! I see all kinds of beautiful things. This is an old, possibly house/gas station. I love seeing things like this.

Update On Me

I am sorry to everyone for not posting or updating anyone. I have lived at my current address since December of 2017. Halloween 🎃☠️💀 is coming up fast.👻 I can't wait! I believe I have found the love of my life. I can say he made me believe of love at first sight.

I don't know what else to say right now. Hope you all have a wonderful day!